after a week.. and about two hours later..
as i'm writing this, i'm occasionally glancing at my starbucks planner turned organizer and diary..
as of last writing, the dead resurrected as of May 31. there were days when he sent a lot of messages in a day, there were days when he sent few. but clearly, i wasn't in the clear yet. I liked him. Okay, I still do. And its something i want to do away with. It wasn't obvious that it was not gonna end up the way I would hope it would be (and guess what would that be? hehehe). It was very obvious. Right in front of my face.
But yeah, I still managed to enjoy that week. because of his messages? partly, yes. i would even talk to mama about it.
me: "uy ma, nagtext sya!!"
mama: "sus, tigilan mo na nga yan. di ako boto jan. gwapo lang yan. wala yang ipapakain sayo. baka ikaw pa magpakain jan"
me: "ma naman, over. saka mo na problemahin yung ipapakain. hindi ko pa naman asawa yan. ni hindi ko boyfriend. textmate ko lang sya, ok? umpisahan mo nang mamroblema pag tumatawag na sya. hindi pa nga e, miss call lang."
mama: "sus, barat naman pala."
me: "nge. as if. friends lang kami. there's no reason to call."
anyway, Misys called pala for an interview. I still am not sure about it. i told them tatawag ako, pero I have yet to call them again.
May 31, i was worried about him na. True, he mentioned na he had something going on. I texted him Good luck in the morning, pero no reply. I was worried kasi it might be something more serious than a possible career move. Baka may sakit na, or something else way more serious than an event which could make or break his career. Make that his future career. Evening came, wala pa rin. Texted him again. Something na "hope ur undertaking went well" type lang. Ayan, sumagot ang loko. Ok naman daw. Ako naman, tumaray (hehehe). Answer ko, "That's good to hear. Anyway, good PM".
End of conversation. He texted ng quote later. Nagmaganda na naman ako, d ako sumagot. Later, may nawala na namang tao na nagtext. Standard spiel ako. Tapos meron pang isa. Di rin ako sumagot. Pag-gising ko na.
June, was the start of it again. Text na naman sya, text rin ako, with a smile. I wasn't really *waiting*, but then again, i wasn't in an "i don't care" status. Natutuwa ako when he texts me. Bad? No. Good? No. But one thing was clear, I didn't want to revert back to the Chelle the week before. True, I tried one of my text-tactics on him as well, amused with the results.
June came, one of my most awaited months.. dahil sa Center. pero honestly, I still am not ready. Pag natapos ko na ang mga study programs ko. For all we know, I might be going somewhere else na. Sa Ryan Cayabyab na lang kaya? Pero di sulit don e.. at least compared sa Center. Pero pwede akong mag-"specialize" on musical theater doon. Or Trumpets sa summer (which is what? a year to go).
Anyway, I have news pa. Tuesday, I submitted my resume to Equicom na. Later during the day, I was asked if I knew CGI/C++. I said yes, and I was being considered for a Canada position na. Shucks, never thought it would be that fast. I was asked if I was willing to accept contractual employment, the works. Thursday, they called me to schedule a phone interview.
Yep, too good to be true, not to mention too fast.
Friday, I felt sooooo lazy. Decided not to come to work na. Which was actually a good thing, since Equicom calls an hour later asking for my landline number. Nice. Imagine me talking to my interviewer on my cubicle here in the office. Not good.
Chumika muna ako kay Ninang Fida that morning, while waiting for the call. She bid me goodluck. Later, the HR called me again, they'll be calling me in 10 minutes.
The interview. This was my first time to do a phone interview. Tense. The interviewer sounded nice naman. I was pulling the words out of my mind as I spoke. hahaha. There were times I would blurt an answer out and frown after. Not the ideal answer. Bad.
But I was turned off. Why? It was a helpdesk/first level support position for software that they developed. It was a non-developer position. Lord!! Parang call-center? Not that I look down on that job, but I honestly don't think that I studied for computer science for four years just to answer people's calls. i want to PRACTICE what i learned. i didn't go into CS because i was forced to. I loved it. And I was yet to be in dire need of money.
Pero syempre kinarir ko pa rin ang pagsagot. Who knows?
The interview ended with Ma'am Tintin telling me she'd contact me for feedback this week. But honestly, my balloon was deflated. Would I choose that?
Career Objective: xxxxxxxxxxxx
Seeing that again on my resume, I knew I a had reason to. That job had absolutely nothing in it for me to attain my objective. At least nothing that I could think of at that time.
Mama wanted me to go for it. It paid more. Here in Smart, it could be ok, if not for smallish salaries and sometimes unreasonable boss. True, that one, I think would pay a lot more. But my foe here would be my ego. And its needless to say I had a big one. A big and tough one to swallow, even in the name of money.
Saturday. We went to Cavite. Masaya. We had a lot of fun. Kulitan, kwentuhan with hazel. On the way home, we were on the road for 3 hours. Reaching home, the house had a mini-river infront. Buti na lang tumigil na yung ulan, kung hindi buhatan blues na naman kami.
Friday night pala, I was playing with my phone, trying to subscribe to the unlimited 258 text service, but hoping i would not succeed. Too bad nag-register. I'm on my last day na, out of 4 days. Never intending to subscribe to these types of services anymore. Magastos, gusto kong masulit, but I still think its not enough. Sayang yung 60 pesos ko.
Sunday, spent the whole day typing. Kahapon, ILS ko, which was boring, sleepy, fun, and scary at the same time. I arrived home late na, pero spending my time there was better than working anyday. hehe. But that actually made me think. Smart is making some business moves right now, and our group is being tapped for a major initiative. Parang gusto kong mainvolve doon, since it would be something na talagang bago. Kahit before I leave.
ngayon naman, i saw my referrer's message. surprise.
i was the top-listed candidate for that canada position. others were purely techie people daw, for them, they figured i was the one who could express myself best. hahaha. had they known the real me, they wouldn't have concluded that way. but then again, i used to be a pure techie as well. not until the year that passed.
Sayang. had that been a programmer position. Let's dream a bit more, and make it a Java programmer. And I was the top candidate and they offer me the position? I'll be out of smart without 2nd thoughts. But then, it wasn't my dream. I wasn't a programmer there. And that is more than enough to make me change my mind. I emailed the HR about my decision just a while ago. I hope I didn't come across as mayabang naman.
As for Jason, I text him twice as much now (coz of 258). But none from him. Disappointed, in a way I didn't expect from myself. Tingin ko talaga, he's on 258 kaya he texts a lot. di ko na kelangan icheck pa sa smart records.. gutfeel says it all. After 258, there'll be none coming from me, not unless he texts me. Pag ako naasar, wala na talaga, even if he texts me.
6/7/2005 3:27PM
finished that last paragraph which i started after lunch, before starting a new one (this one). hmm.. from asar, naaawa ako ngayon sa kanya. i texted him kanina (both prepaid and postpaid numbers.. unlimited naman e), again for the purpose of utilizing the last hours of my 258 service (sige na nga, para maalala nya naman ako). he replied, pero using his postpaid number now. he said thanks, saying he's in bcd (bacolod?), as his father had a stroke last sunday daw. kahit ako, i wouldn't be in the mood for anything nice kung mangyari sa akin yon. naawa ako sa kanya.. in an instant, yung slight asar ko sa kanya for ignoring me (and my messages) vanished.
he asked me to pray for his dad. i hope his dad gets well, hope his family is doing okay. sana sya ok lang din. sana may umaalalay naman sa kanya doon. hayy.. i hope their situation gets better doon. i don't want to see him depressed. mukhang close pa naman sila ng dad nya, the way his message sounded..
:(
as of last writing, the dead resurrected as of May 31. there were days when he sent a lot of messages in a day, there were days when he sent few. but clearly, i wasn't in the clear yet. I liked him. Okay, I still do. And its something i want to do away with. It wasn't obvious that it was not gonna end up the way I would hope it would be (and guess what would that be? hehehe). It was very obvious. Right in front of my face.
But yeah, I still managed to enjoy that week. because of his messages? partly, yes. i would even talk to mama about it.
me: "uy ma, nagtext sya!!"
mama: "sus, tigilan mo na nga yan. di ako boto jan. gwapo lang yan. wala yang ipapakain sayo. baka ikaw pa magpakain jan"
me: "ma naman, over. saka mo na problemahin yung ipapakain. hindi ko pa naman asawa yan. ni hindi ko boyfriend. textmate ko lang sya, ok? umpisahan mo nang mamroblema pag tumatawag na sya. hindi pa nga e, miss call lang."
mama: "sus, barat naman pala."
me: "nge. as if. friends lang kami. there's no reason to call."
anyway, Misys called pala for an interview. I still am not sure about it. i told them tatawag ako, pero I have yet to call them again.
May 31, i was worried about him na. True, he mentioned na he had something going on. I texted him Good luck in the morning, pero no reply. I was worried kasi it might be something more serious than a possible career move. Baka may sakit na, or something else way more serious than an event which could make or break his career. Make that his future career. Evening came, wala pa rin. Texted him again. Something na "hope ur undertaking went well" type lang. Ayan, sumagot ang loko. Ok naman daw. Ako naman, tumaray (hehehe). Answer ko, "That's good to hear. Anyway, good PM".
End of conversation. He texted ng quote later. Nagmaganda na naman ako, d ako sumagot. Later, may nawala na namang tao na nagtext. Standard spiel ako. Tapos meron pang isa. Di rin ako sumagot. Pag-gising ko na.
June, was the start of it again. Text na naman sya, text rin ako, with a smile. I wasn't really *waiting*, but then again, i wasn't in an "i don't care" status. Natutuwa ako when he texts me. Bad? No. Good? No. But one thing was clear, I didn't want to revert back to the Chelle the week before. True, I tried one of my text-tactics on him as well, amused with the results.
June came, one of my most awaited months.. dahil sa Center. pero honestly, I still am not ready. Pag natapos ko na ang mga study programs ko. For all we know, I might be going somewhere else na. Sa Ryan Cayabyab na lang kaya? Pero di sulit don e.. at least compared sa Center. Pero pwede akong mag-"specialize" on musical theater doon. Or Trumpets sa summer (which is what? a year to go).
Anyway, I have news pa. Tuesday, I submitted my resume to Equicom na. Later during the day, I was asked if I knew CGI/C++. I said yes, and I was being considered for a Canada position na. Shucks, never thought it would be that fast. I was asked if I was willing to accept contractual employment, the works. Thursday, they called me to schedule a phone interview.
Yep, too good to be true, not to mention too fast.
Friday, I felt sooooo lazy. Decided not to come to work na. Which was actually a good thing, since Equicom calls an hour later asking for my landline number. Nice. Imagine me talking to my interviewer on my cubicle here in the office. Not good.
Chumika muna ako kay Ninang Fida that morning, while waiting for the call. She bid me goodluck. Later, the HR called me again, they'll be calling me in 10 minutes.
The interview. This was my first time to do a phone interview. Tense. The interviewer sounded nice naman. I was pulling the words out of my mind as I spoke. hahaha. There were times I would blurt an answer out and frown after. Not the ideal answer. Bad.
But I was turned off. Why? It was a helpdesk/first level support position for software that they developed. It was a non-developer position. Lord!! Parang call-center? Not that I look down on that job, but I honestly don't think that I studied for computer science for four years just to answer people's calls. i want to PRACTICE what i learned. i didn't go into CS because i was forced to. I loved it. And I was yet to be in dire need of money.
Pero syempre kinarir ko pa rin ang pagsagot. Who knows?
The interview ended with Ma'am Tintin telling me she'd contact me for feedback this week. But honestly, my balloon was deflated. Would I choose that?
Career Objective: xxxxxxxxxxxx
Seeing that again on my resume, I knew I a had reason to. That job had absolutely nothing in it for me to attain my objective. At least nothing that I could think of at that time.
Mama wanted me to go for it. It paid more. Here in Smart, it could be ok, if not for smallish salaries and sometimes unreasonable boss. True, that one, I think would pay a lot more. But my foe here would be my ego. And its needless to say I had a big one. A big and tough one to swallow, even in the name of money.
Saturday. We went to Cavite. Masaya. We had a lot of fun. Kulitan, kwentuhan with hazel. On the way home, we were on the road for 3 hours. Reaching home, the house had a mini-river infront. Buti na lang tumigil na yung ulan, kung hindi buhatan blues na naman kami.
Friday night pala, I was playing with my phone, trying to subscribe to the unlimited 258 text service, but hoping i would not succeed. Too bad nag-register. I'm on my last day na, out of 4 days. Never intending to subscribe to these types of services anymore. Magastos, gusto kong masulit, but I still think its not enough. Sayang yung 60 pesos ko.
Sunday, spent the whole day typing. Kahapon, ILS ko, which was boring, sleepy, fun, and scary at the same time. I arrived home late na, pero spending my time there was better than working anyday. hehe. But that actually made me think. Smart is making some business moves right now, and our group is being tapped for a major initiative. Parang gusto kong mainvolve doon, since it would be something na talagang bago. Kahit before I leave.
ngayon naman, i saw my referrer's message. surprise.
i was the top-listed candidate for that canada position. others were purely techie people daw, for them, they figured i was the one who could express myself best. hahaha. had they known the real me, they wouldn't have concluded that way. but then again, i used to be a pure techie as well. not until the year that passed.
Sayang. had that been a programmer position. Let's dream a bit more, and make it a Java programmer. And I was the top candidate and they offer me the position? I'll be out of smart without 2nd thoughts. But then, it wasn't my dream. I wasn't a programmer there. And that is more than enough to make me change my mind. I emailed the HR about my decision just a while ago. I hope I didn't come across as mayabang naman.
As for Jason, I text him twice as much now (coz of 258). But none from him. Disappointed, in a way I didn't expect from myself. Tingin ko talaga, he's on 258 kaya he texts a lot. di ko na kelangan icheck pa sa smart records.. gutfeel says it all. After 258, there'll be none coming from me, not unless he texts me. Pag ako naasar, wala na talaga, even if he texts me.
6/7/2005 3:27PM
finished that last paragraph which i started after lunch, before starting a new one (this one). hmm.. from asar, naaawa ako ngayon sa kanya. i texted him kanina (both prepaid and postpaid numbers.. unlimited naman e), again for the purpose of utilizing the last hours of my 258 service (sige na nga, para maalala nya naman ako). he replied, pero using his postpaid number now. he said thanks, saying he's in bcd (bacolod?), as his father had a stroke last sunday daw. kahit ako, i wouldn't be in the mood for anything nice kung mangyari sa akin yon. naawa ako sa kanya.. in an instant, yung slight asar ko sa kanya for ignoring me (and my messages) vanished.
he asked me to pray for his dad. i hope his dad gets well, hope his family is doing okay. sana sya ok lang din. sana may umaalalay naman sa kanya doon. hayy.. i hope their situation gets better doon. i don't want to see him depressed. mukhang close pa naman sila ng dad nya, the way his message sounded..
:(
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