the mall show..
maaga akong nagising ng sunday, weird, considering i slept late. ayun, trying to be as calm as possible. nagluto muna ako ng breakfast. tapos naligo. bihis na rin ako after, though tinape ko pala muna yung R2K na minus one ni coach Louie para maisoli ko na rin that day (kasi ang sabi ko sa kanya kahapon ko isosoli). buti kung wala sya dun sa recital, e andun, backup singer ata saka emcee. so yun. umalis ako mga 10:30 na. kala ko nga late na ako, e baka maglit si coach mayo. andun na si anne. pero wala pa lahat. sina coach daw andun na pero umalis ata. nagsulat na lang muna ako ng lyrics. later dumating na din si jason. nagsulat din ng lyrics. tapos nagpa-xerox. si rhea dumating while i was xeroxing my lyrics. wala pa din sya. bago yun, naglunch muna kami. chowking. minadali na lang kami kasi past 12 na nun and magmi-makeup pa. pagkatapos chow, makeup na. bayad muna ko kay ms ydette na hanggang ngayon (!!!) ay hindi pa rin sinosoli ang CD ko. ayun, kinarir na naman ako ng isang bakla. ginawang fantasy ang look. tinanong pa ako kung itataas ang hair o nakababa, sabi ko nakababa, pero tinaas ng bruha hehe. ok lang naman, nagmukha akong may aloe vera sa ulo.. pero nice sya sa totoo lang. lalong naging chinky-eyed ako. but i liked myself better with my hair down, pero ok naman ang ginawa ng bading. ako na nga lang ata ang minake-up-an nya. hiniram ako sandali ni coach mayo for blocking practice ng solo at ng madonna na nababaliw kaming tatlo haha. ilang ulit bago na-satisfy si coach mayo. nung natapos na ang makeup, practice ng blocking ng chocolate tapos madonna na naman, haha. parang na-praning ata si coach mayo sa ginagawa namin sa madonna.
anyway, we started late. si angelo kasi, akala ang call time ay 2pm, show starts at 4pm. e late pa sha. past 2 na kami nag start. edi chocolate. basta ako pino-project ko lang talaga ang butt ko habang sumasayaw haha. tapos bihis na. since i was 7th to perform pa naman, tinulungan ko muna sina anne and rhea kasi ann was 3rd and rhea was 5th. tapos palang nun ako nagbihis. ok naman, i asked help from them din. i was after slow rock medley. tense ako, though considerably less than how tense i used to be during times like this. si coach mayo ang nagsasabi kung kelan papasok.
the stage is big.. way bigger than what we had during the recital, and the practicum, though mas mataas yung sa padi's point. it felt awkward.. pucha andami kasing tao. i felt i had to put myself on the whole stage. it seemed to big for a single person to make an impact. kailangan mong mag block talaga, and there was the audience area, which was considered as part of the stage as well, as far as my song was concerned. sabi ni coach mayo. damn..
projection. i tried my best to project, but i felt what i was inadequate. maybe because the stage was really big compared to the studios at Center for Pop (nalalakihan na nga ako sa mga room don), maybe the audience wasn't reacting the way i wanted them to (haha.. kasi naman ang heckler team ko grabeng mag react, and here was the audience just staring at me). ewan ko. plus the fact that i felt awkward on stage. that was the first time i was gonna "last dance" with my madonna boots on. and the stage was quite slippery. hindi ko masyadong ma-exaggerate ang moves ko. i was trying. nung mejo mabilis na, mejo light na ang mood ko. and may backup dancers naman. but i didn't know what the hell they were doing. but i didn't mind.
tingin ko ok lang, not exceptional, but ok. i wasn't able to do everything that i wanted to do, but it was ok.. until..
"come on baby, dance that dance!
come on baby dance that dance!
come on baby let's dance TONIGHT........!"
sa part na 'to, i have to somehow coax the audience to dance. i had to be lively. what happened? I SLIPPED. fell flat on my butt. sa dulo na yun, near the last line na. after a momentary shock, the only thing which registered to my mind was GET UP! finish standing UP! i stood up, just before the last TONIGHT.... and i was able to do my finale pa rin, though breath-wise, i didn't do it right (buti na lang may backup singer din). the crowd's reaction was unbelievable. they didn't react when i slipped. when i stood up, they clapped and whistled. kahit yung backup dancer ko nag-react din. natatangahan? natatawa? natutuwa? surprisingly, di ako nasaktan sa pagkakadulas ko (marami kasing cushion na taba sa pwet e).
when i got backstage, ang mga friends aka hecklers, excited. kasi bawal sumilip. they were curious what i did that elicited that kind of reaction. i was numb then, i didn't want to believe the slip actually happened. i refused to. i told her in the most calm way i could react, "alam mo kung bakit ganun ang reaction? nadulas ako" nung una ayaw nilang maniwala (i didn't want to as well). yun. i broke down. napaiyak ako backstage. as in todo luha talaga. anne and rhea were comforting me. they said i stood up, i recovered daw. ok lang daw yun.
damn, try experiencing it. it was my biggest audience yet, sa solo number pa talaga ha. mejo nahihirapan akong kontrolin yung tears kasi hiyang-hiya ako doon. i remembered myself, the reason why i never dared to venture into things like these. i was disgusted with humiliation, with rejection. more so when others see me. now that i managed to crawl out of that comfort zone, and here i was with my biggest audience so far, on my solo number, slipping and landing flat on my butt. damn.. there was a point when i wished i didn't perform. ayoko na ngang ituloy, kung hindi lang nakakahiya talaga. nahrapan talaga ako to control breaking down sa likod. pati si coach louie pinapaypayan na ako dahil sobrang pawis ko na. si coach mayo part daw talaga yun ng performance. si sarah geronimo nga daw nadulas sa concert nya, naka-gown pa. si sarah geronimo na yun.. ako sino lang ba ako? wahh hindi ko talaga matanggap. pero i straightened up na rin as madonna medley drew near. weird nga, sa sobrang iniyak iyak ko dun sa likod, i barely needed a makeup retouch (there wasn't time to do it anyway) pero ok lang kahit di ako nagpa-retouch sabi ni rhea and coach yen. sa audience kami nanggaling for madonna.
ayun madonna. i knew i didn't look happy then, though i refrained from pouting naman noh, though tingin ko mukha na akong mataray. i was extra-careful with how i moved. i didn't want a slip part two happening. weird thing was, even if i wasn't doing a solo, i've got this weird, eerie feeling that they were still looking at me. weird basta. were they expecting me to slip again..? o baka praning lang ako.. possible rin na yun.. nag try pa rin naman akong mag project lalo na sa mga steps. yung sa start ng like a virgin anne and rhea got to the bottom of the stairs pa, it felt awkward na andun lang ako sa taas so i went down, like 2 to 3 rows to audience area. ayun natapos naman namin without any more mishaps, though nakalimutan kong mag-pose sa dulo.. hahaha. when we got back, sabi ni anne naiintindihan na raw nya kung bakit ako nadulas.. madulas talaga ang stage. conducive for nothing except rubber shoes.
ayun, madaliang bihis kami after kasi number lang ni jason tapos closing number na (chocolate ulit). i just put on my pants, didn't bother taking off the fishnet. cheer na lang kami kay jason hehe. ayun.. may nag spiels pa ata ulit na host tapos chocolate na. while we were dancing the chorus part, merong weirdong nakaway sa akin (or baka naman kay anne, we were in the same line of sight). ayun. when we finished, sina ma'am tysha nasa dressing room congratulating us. she even gave us an autographed notepad by King (na nag-guest sa mall show to promote his concert). tapos tickets sa concert ni king, one each. balcony lang. magkasabay-sabay na lang kaming pupunta para magkakatabi kami sa music museum.
kakaaliw si coach dynes when i finally saw her na. she said she was very proud of me, na-keri ko daw ang pagkakadulas ko doon sa solo (sabay demo, hehe.. ang sama). natakot daw sya, she didn't have an idea what i would do nung nadulas ako. she has a reason to naman, after more than 10 sessions with her, recital and mall show practices uncounted, solo or not, she has seen me react when i made booboos. i don't really follow the "don't react to your mistakes" mantra.. i get distracted easily (as evidenced by my practices with my hecklers) basta minsan over akong magreact.. umuupo ako sa stage, tumatalon, tumitili, basta pangit. kaya i understand kung bakit natakot sya.. hehe. pero i'm not that bad, i won't put my companions, my coaches, center for pop and most importantly, myself in shame by breaking down onstage or walking out. basta hindi. nobody wanted it to happen, at least i recovered pa rin naman (gotta remind myself to think about the situation this way.. there are times i still wish i didn't perform coz i landed on my butt).
come to think of it, there are worse scenarios. yung bagsak ko okay pa yun.. at least upo lang, di naman ako napahiga. the microphone didn't fall off my hand and rolled somewhere else na hindi ko na inabot. hindi naman ako nadapa (as in face down ng bumagsak), hindi naman ako nasubsob at nalampaso yung mukha sa sahig. hindi naman ako dun sa stairs nabagsak (yuck ampangit non hehe). hindi naman ako naka-skirt so hindi ako nasilipan (coz i thought about wearing one). hindi naman natanggal yung takong ng shoes ko. not too bad pa, not good, but still bearable. i still managed to stand up and finish the song. i just wish i had been more creative in recovering from my slip. i didn't have the time to think about it, i had around 3 to 5 seconds before the "tonight!" finale started and the only thing which came to my mind was to finish the way i was supposed to finish the song. and that was standing up.
anyway, after, we said goodbye na. mama was in handy man, so chumika-chika pa kami sa mga coach nina jason and rhea. later nag pictures din kami.. coach mayo and jason, coach mayo and me, coach mayo and rhea, tapos all three of us pati si coach mayo, coach yen, coach louie and coach dynes, pati si ma'am tysha. tapos umalis na rin kami. nag-ikot pa kami sa SM (my insistence, i don't want to hang out at ali mall after what happened).
we went home, dapat KFC kami pero order na lang kami ng pizza hut. kaya may palm card na ulit kami. later during the day, i wasn't as depressed as i was around 30 minutes after my solo number. not too satisfied pero pwede na rin. keri naman daw e.
ahh nga pala, ako na daw ang "miriam quiambao" ng center for pop. akala ko trippings lang ni coach dynes yun nung hinanap nya ako after the show. as it turns out, ma'am tysha really spoke about it during their host's spiel.. kung ang Binibining Pilipinas daw may Miriam Quiambao, meron din daw ang Center for Pop.
kakahiya talaga, sobra. masayang nakakahiya. :) still, i broke limits last sunday. happy pa rin ako kahit nadulas ako.. hehe. at least naka-recover ako, and that's what matters.
anyway, we started late. si angelo kasi, akala ang call time ay 2pm, show starts at 4pm. e late pa sha. past 2 na kami nag start. edi chocolate. basta ako pino-project ko lang talaga ang butt ko habang sumasayaw haha. tapos bihis na. since i was 7th to perform pa naman, tinulungan ko muna sina anne and rhea kasi ann was 3rd and rhea was 5th. tapos palang nun ako nagbihis. ok naman, i asked help from them din. i was after slow rock medley. tense ako, though considerably less than how tense i used to be during times like this. si coach mayo ang nagsasabi kung kelan papasok.
the stage is big.. way bigger than what we had during the recital, and the practicum, though mas mataas yung sa padi's point. it felt awkward.. pucha andami kasing tao. i felt i had to put myself on the whole stage. it seemed to big for a single person to make an impact. kailangan mong mag block talaga, and there was the audience area, which was considered as part of the stage as well, as far as my song was concerned. sabi ni coach mayo. damn..
projection. i tried my best to project, but i felt what i was inadequate. maybe because the stage was really big compared to the studios at Center for Pop (nalalakihan na nga ako sa mga room don), maybe the audience wasn't reacting the way i wanted them to (haha.. kasi naman ang heckler team ko grabeng mag react, and here was the audience just staring at me). ewan ko. plus the fact that i felt awkward on stage. that was the first time i was gonna "last dance" with my madonna boots on. and the stage was quite slippery. hindi ko masyadong ma-exaggerate ang moves ko. i was trying. nung mejo mabilis na, mejo light na ang mood ko. and may backup dancers naman. but i didn't know what the hell they were doing. but i didn't mind.
tingin ko ok lang, not exceptional, but ok. i wasn't able to do everything that i wanted to do, but it was ok.. until..
"come on baby, dance that dance!
come on baby dance that dance!
come on baby let's dance TONIGHT........!"
sa part na 'to, i have to somehow coax the audience to dance. i had to be lively. what happened? I SLIPPED. fell flat on my butt. sa dulo na yun, near the last line na. after a momentary shock, the only thing which registered to my mind was GET UP! finish standing UP! i stood up, just before the last TONIGHT.... and i was able to do my finale pa rin, though breath-wise, i didn't do it right (buti na lang may backup singer din). the crowd's reaction was unbelievable. they didn't react when i slipped. when i stood up, they clapped and whistled. kahit yung backup dancer ko nag-react din. natatangahan? natatawa? natutuwa? surprisingly, di ako nasaktan sa pagkakadulas ko (marami kasing cushion na taba sa pwet e).
when i got backstage, ang mga friends aka hecklers, excited. kasi bawal sumilip. they were curious what i did that elicited that kind of reaction. i was numb then, i didn't want to believe the slip actually happened. i refused to. i told her in the most calm way i could react, "alam mo kung bakit ganun ang reaction? nadulas ako" nung una ayaw nilang maniwala (i didn't want to as well). yun. i broke down. napaiyak ako backstage. as in todo luha talaga. anne and rhea were comforting me. they said i stood up, i recovered daw. ok lang daw yun.
damn, try experiencing it. it was my biggest audience yet, sa solo number pa talaga ha. mejo nahihirapan akong kontrolin yung tears kasi hiyang-hiya ako doon. i remembered myself, the reason why i never dared to venture into things like these. i was disgusted with humiliation, with rejection. more so when others see me. now that i managed to crawl out of that comfort zone, and here i was with my biggest audience so far, on my solo number, slipping and landing flat on my butt. damn.. there was a point when i wished i didn't perform. ayoko na ngang ituloy, kung hindi lang nakakahiya talaga. nahrapan talaga ako to control breaking down sa likod. pati si coach louie pinapaypayan na ako dahil sobrang pawis ko na. si coach mayo part daw talaga yun ng performance. si sarah geronimo nga daw nadulas sa concert nya, naka-gown pa. si sarah geronimo na yun.. ako sino lang ba ako? wahh hindi ko talaga matanggap. pero i straightened up na rin as madonna medley drew near. weird nga, sa sobrang iniyak iyak ko dun sa likod, i barely needed a makeup retouch (there wasn't time to do it anyway) pero ok lang kahit di ako nagpa-retouch sabi ni rhea and coach yen. sa audience kami nanggaling for madonna.
ayun madonna. i knew i didn't look happy then, though i refrained from pouting naman noh, though tingin ko mukha na akong mataray. i was extra-careful with how i moved. i didn't want a slip part two happening. weird thing was, even if i wasn't doing a solo, i've got this weird, eerie feeling that they were still looking at me. weird basta. were they expecting me to slip again..? o baka praning lang ako.. possible rin na yun.. nag try pa rin naman akong mag project lalo na sa mga steps. yung sa start ng like a virgin anne and rhea got to the bottom of the stairs pa, it felt awkward na andun lang ako sa taas so i went down, like 2 to 3 rows to audience area. ayun natapos naman namin without any more mishaps, though nakalimutan kong mag-pose sa dulo.. hahaha. when we got back, sabi ni anne naiintindihan na raw nya kung bakit ako nadulas.. madulas talaga ang stage. conducive for nothing except rubber shoes.
ayun, madaliang bihis kami after kasi number lang ni jason tapos closing number na (chocolate ulit). i just put on my pants, didn't bother taking off the fishnet. cheer na lang kami kay jason hehe. ayun.. may nag spiels pa ata ulit na host tapos chocolate na. while we were dancing the chorus part, merong weirdong nakaway sa akin (or baka naman kay anne, we were in the same line of sight). ayun. when we finished, sina ma'am tysha nasa dressing room congratulating us. she even gave us an autographed notepad by King (na nag-guest sa mall show to promote his concert). tapos tickets sa concert ni king, one each. balcony lang. magkasabay-sabay na lang kaming pupunta para magkakatabi kami sa music museum.
kakaaliw si coach dynes when i finally saw her na. she said she was very proud of me, na-keri ko daw ang pagkakadulas ko doon sa solo (sabay demo, hehe.. ang sama). natakot daw sya, she didn't have an idea what i would do nung nadulas ako. she has a reason to naman, after more than 10 sessions with her, recital and mall show practices uncounted, solo or not, she has seen me react when i made booboos. i don't really follow the "don't react to your mistakes" mantra.. i get distracted easily (as evidenced by my practices with my hecklers) basta minsan over akong magreact.. umuupo ako sa stage, tumatalon, tumitili, basta pangit. kaya i understand kung bakit natakot sya.. hehe. pero i'm not that bad, i won't put my companions, my coaches, center for pop and most importantly, myself in shame by breaking down onstage or walking out. basta hindi. nobody wanted it to happen, at least i recovered pa rin naman (gotta remind myself to think about the situation this way.. there are times i still wish i didn't perform coz i landed on my butt).
come to think of it, there are worse scenarios. yung bagsak ko okay pa yun.. at least upo lang, di naman ako napahiga. the microphone didn't fall off my hand and rolled somewhere else na hindi ko na inabot. hindi naman ako nadapa (as in face down ng bumagsak), hindi naman ako nasubsob at nalampaso yung mukha sa sahig. hindi naman ako dun sa stairs nabagsak (yuck ampangit non hehe). hindi naman ako naka-skirt so hindi ako nasilipan (coz i thought about wearing one). hindi naman natanggal yung takong ng shoes ko. not too bad pa, not good, but still bearable. i still managed to stand up and finish the song. i just wish i had been more creative in recovering from my slip. i didn't have the time to think about it, i had around 3 to 5 seconds before the "tonight!" finale started and the only thing which came to my mind was to finish the way i was supposed to finish the song. and that was standing up.
anyway, after, we said goodbye na. mama was in handy man, so chumika-chika pa kami sa mga coach nina jason and rhea. later nag pictures din kami.. coach mayo and jason, coach mayo and me, coach mayo and rhea, tapos all three of us pati si coach mayo, coach yen, coach louie and coach dynes, pati si ma'am tysha. tapos umalis na rin kami. nag-ikot pa kami sa SM (my insistence, i don't want to hang out at ali mall after what happened).
we went home, dapat KFC kami pero order na lang kami ng pizza hut. kaya may palm card na ulit kami. later during the day, i wasn't as depressed as i was around 30 minutes after my solo number. not too satisfied pero pwede na rin. keri naman daw e.
ahh nga pala, ako na daw ang "miriam quiambao" ng center for pop. akala ko trippings lang ni coach dynes yun nung hinanap nya ako after the show. as it turns out, ma'am tysha really spoke about it during their host's spiel.. kung ang Binibining Pilipinas daw may Miriam Quiambao, meron din daw ang Center for Pop.
kakahiya talaga, sobra. masayang nakakahiya. :) still, i broke limits last sunday. happy pa rin ako kahit nadulas ako.. hehe. at least naka-recover ako, and that's what matters.
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